It is not instinctive to think that the state of our emotional health shapes the way we choose, engage with and sustain a career. Yet work is never only about income, title or progression. It is also an arena in which our self-esteem, identity and unresolved patterns are at play. Increasingly, younger generations in the workforce approach their employers as if they were extended families and their managers as enlightened parents. The company is expected to be not only a place of work, but also a primary source of purpose and affirmation, a container for professional and even emotional needs. While this reflects a welcome recognition that work affects the whole person, it risks placing an impossible burden on organisations and managers. An emotionally healthy person will not seek to repair through their job what belongs elsewhere. They do not look to a role, a team or a company to resolve personal insecurities, heal childhood wounds or validate their worth. These needs, left unmet, make us vulnerable to overwork, poor boundaries and unhelpful compromises.

Don’t distinguish between work and play. Do everything in the spirit of play. - Alan Watts We are trained to place work and play in separate compartments: one noble and gruelling, the other frivolous and fleeting. Instead of marching grimly through tasks in pursuit of a future reward, we could approach life as if it were something to be enjoyed in the moment, not endured until it ends. The spirit of play doesn’t trivialise effort; it brings lightness to difficulty, curiosity to repetition and creativity to constraint. It allows us to engage fully without being crushed by the weight of proving our worth. P.S. The man had his flaws (monogamy and restraint), I know, but philosophical clarity wasn't one of them.

We work so hard because deep down, we're driven by fears and insecurities we seldom acknowledge openly. There's a persistent anxiety about not being enough: successful enough, influential enough or valuable enough. Work becomes a way to earn approval, from others and from ourselves. It is a means to silence the constant voice questioning our worth.

One of the lessons of working life is that being good at your job is rarely enough. Many of the most competent people remain overlooked, overworked or frustrated because they’ve never learned how to manage the relationship above them. We often assume that managers are, by definition, managing. In reality, many are overwhelmed, unclear or simply unaware of what their team needs. They rely, often unconsciously, on those below them to carry the load. If no one steps in to structure the work or guide the conversation, confusion grows. Managing up is the skill of recognising this gap and choosing to fill it.

Work trains how we respond to pressure, make decisions in uncertainty, hold boundaries, navigate power, work across difference and recover when things go off track. When these behaviours repeat daily, they stop being functional and start becoming part of who we are. Work focuses your attention. It shows what you prioritise, what you let slide and how you show up under pressure. It surfaces patterns in real time and gives you a chance to work with them in how you act, respond and adjust.

A common theme that comes up in professional coaching is how people respond to critique at work. It could be a blunt comment from a manager, a mediocre review or a piece of feedback that lands hard. Criticism can leave us feeling exposed. The instinctive response is often to withdraw, explain, defend or even question your value. The good news is that those same moments can become turning points. The challenge is building the skill to separate what’s useful from what’s personal; to respond in a way that serves your growth rather than your ego.